What luteal rage reveals about your boundaries
Your menstrual cycle is a spiritual guide AND a spiritual practice
Your menstrual cycle is both a spiritual teacher and spiritual practice guiding you along a path of self development and maturation. It’s not often thought of this way, what with all the messaging we’ve received about how dirty it is, how inconvenient and disrupting it is, how unreasonable we are when we’re about to bleed, and how “eMoTiOnAl” it makes us, but where there’s a wound, there’s power to reclaim.
What I’ve learned after almost 10 years of practicing menstrual cycle awareness and fertility tracking is my menstrual cycle teaches me more about how to be a better version of myself than any book, teacher, or spiritual guide ever will. It’s brought me into closer relationship with myself, my needs, my ebbs and flows, and changing desires. I am not the same woman throughout my cycle. And neither are you. How cool!
adrienne maree brown says “small is all. the large is a reflection of the small.” Ayurveda says it this way: “everything is a microcosm of the macrocosm. As above, so below. As within, so without.”
Your menstrual cycle is a microcosm of gestation, of seasonal patterns, of transitions through life, of periods of time over eons. And smaller than the menstrual cycle is the pattern of the circadian rhythm, the wave of the nervous system, and the movement of breath.
Let’s talk about the nervous system for just a moment. The nervous system moves in waves of expansion and contraction, cycles of up regulation and down regulation. When these waves or patterns get interrupted/disrupted, and thus left incomplete, the nervous system registers it as trauma and will continuously try to find similar experiences in order to find a resolution for that charge. To complete the cycle. It’s your body’s way of giving you a new opportunity to respond differently and helping you evolve along your path of reclaiming your power and Wholeness.
Because we live in a world that loves to disrupt these naturally occurring patterns, (especially for female bodies that are expected to abide by the hormonal makeup of men that moves through a 24 hour cycle instead of the ~28 day cycle that our biology is designed for), we have a lot of these microtraumas that need resolution. And your menstrual cycle is often giving you what you need to work with in a doable way. A way to digest past experiences, weave them into the fabric of your being-ness, and be ushered along your path to knowing Self.
So remember this about the nervous system: it moves in waves of upregulation and downregulation. Ascending and descending energy.
Your cycle moves in a similar pattern: ascending energy that builds and draws the egg to the surface to be released at ovulation, then descending energy as the egg makes its way from the ovaries down to the uterus either to implant (if fertilized) or to be released with menstruation.
During follicular phase and ovulation, estrogen is one of the primary hormones at play. Estrogen is a bonding hormone that has a powerful effect on the social engagement part of the nervous system. It primes us to be perceptive of our surroundings and attuned to other people’s experiences. This is absolutely crucial when it comes to a mother’s ability to bond with her babies and attune to their needs. But the shadow side means it can cause you to slip into people pleasing tendencies like fawning or fitting in as a way to maintain connection with someone. When estrogen is dominant (or in excess due to natural proclivity, diet, lifestyle, bodycare products, etc), you may find yourself slipping up on maintaining boundaries (with yourself or others) so your relationships and sense of safety don’t feel threatened. (We’ll talk about this more in next week’s article). Estrogen is the most building and nourishing of the sex hormones which means you have more capacity to manage stress.
During your luteal phase, however, progesterone is the main hormone and progesterone has a really tricky relationship with adrenaline and cortisol. These stress hormones can actually steal the building blocks of progesterone and convert it to make more stress hormones, leaving progesterone depleted and making us feel more on edge and ready to rip into the next person who looks at you the wrong way. Or, say a partner who hasn’t helped balance the workload at home.
When luteal rage rears its hideous (but oh so helpful) head, it’s an invitation to reflect back on the first half of your cycle and see what boundaries you might have slipped up on that allowed people to take advantage of you while you were under the spell of heightened estrogen. What ways do you need more care and support from yourself and the people in your life? Did you accidentally minimize your needs, thoughts, emotions to keep the peace? How could you change this pattern next cycle?
Luteal phase is akin to fall. In fall, the trees and plants begin to shed their leaves as an act of self preservation and what remains is the true essence of the tree. There’s no longer anything left to hide behind or to take cover under. Luteal phase offers deep insight into the truth of our hearts by shining a light on what’s not working and what needs to be released. It’s important to note that the circumstances that elicit luteal rage aren’t usually because of that specific situation. It’s often caused by a culmination of things that went left unsaid, left for later, and were swept under the rug while estrogen had you prioritizing fitting in and maintaining connection.
So the next time luteal rage makes itself a guest at your table, consider what lesson it’s trying to teach you about boundaries, how to receive what it is you say you want, and how to finally release what’s no longer working so you can build from a more sustainable and trustworthy place. Make a place setting for luteal rage at your table. Listen to it and note what’s not being said. What kind of hurt or pain lays beneath the rage?
It’s a pivotal time to engage the wisdom of your menstrual cycle and reclaim the power it holds, to honor it as the life-affirming, spiritual guide that it is. Moonblood is open for registration. It’s 9 weeks of womb health and re-storying the meaning of your cycle so you feel more whole, centered, and empowered. Save $150 with early bird pricing through March 27th. Use code “wombhealth150” for the pay-in-full option or “wombhealth150plan” for the 4 month payment plan.