I'm deep in the romantasy smut world right now (…pun intended…) and have found everything about my life to be getting better. Not exaggerating. After YEARS spent reading non fiction books about how to heal and spending so much money/time/energy on trainings, certifications, workshops, and courses, I felt like a never ending home renovation project. There was always something that needed to be fixed or changed or improved or updated. I couldn’t just let myself be.
And since being fully immersed (literally day and night) in these fantasy worlds with strong female main characters who carve their own path and take no shit, it's like I've finally pulled my head outta my ass and gained a wider perspective to realize that I was never the problem. The rules, restrictions, “shoulds”, “have to's” and “need to's” have all been made irrelevant because they were the problem. Not me. They were keeping me small and paralyzed, the good little rule following girl the patriarchy so desperately wants women to be.
Not so ironically, since breaking all the rules, I've found a daily rhythm that really nourishes me and allows me to fully embody my Aliveness. I feel layers and layers of freeze finally thawing, which has been very uncomfortable but encouraging as I actually allow myself to rage, weep, cackle, and hope. I've worked out more consistently than I have in almost a decade because I want to be strong like Nesta from A Court of Silver Flames and experience that flow state again that leads to inner peace.
And that book specifically (A Court of Silver Flames) changed me. It taught me the need to right your wrongs no matter how hard and uncomfortable it is, the importance of deep female friendship, letting people see and believe in the good in you, facing your fears, being a beginner, and finding your path. I really didn’t know I was gonna get more out of this *raunchy* fictional book than like any “self development” book I’ve ever read, but goddess I’m glad I did. (Also, Cassian…swoon).
My husband even said “you've changed a lot in the last couple months.” He of course is directly benefiting from me reading all this cliterature because it’s 1) stimulated my mind and imagination in new ways and 2) reminded me that sex and intimacy shouldn’t take a back burner to my to-do list. So, I've been like a feral animal in heat lately, with an ~almost~ insatiable desire for sex after basically walking through a desert for too long with only the occasional watering hole here and there. I just had no interest because there were so many other things I was focused on. I know I’m definitely not alone in this so I’m not sorry if you think that’s TMI.
And maybe you find yourself in a similar pattern that I was in. Maybe you feel paralyzed, unmotivated, despondent, and numb not because something is actually wrong with you, but because you've accidentally placed such a restrictive cage around yourself that you're scared to take any action out of fear of getting it wrong. Perhaps because ole GwynnyP said green juices will heal everything about you, including your broken soul, and well, that sounds nice in this seemingly soulless world, doesn't it? Or because Andy Huberman lectured you for 2.5 hours about the right way to sleep, which only made sleep that much more elusive so you're desperate for any remedy.
It's no different in the hormone health world. If anything, it's worse! Don't eat seed oils; they'll cause your ovaries to deflate like balloon after a wild party. Buy these blue blockers or your pineal gland will ruin everything that's good in your life. Only drink coffee that costs $35 per cup because all other kinds have mold and will eat your brain right outta your skull. You better be doing coffee enemas every week or you'll never be able to shit and your excess estrogen load will immediately cause cancer.
It's EXHAUSTING. And debilitating.
And while these things absolutely CAN be supportive, what's more important is your relationship to it all. How you relate to yourself and WHY you're choosing to engage with anything matters so much more. Are you trying to fix something about yourself when you do these practices? Or are you strengthening your sense of Wholeness and thus, able to live more free and embodied?
How do you want to feel? And what are some of the things that help you generate and experience that feeling? I shared on Instagram about how it’s rather quite annoying that exercising actually helps me feel good. I’ve tried to find ANYTHING else that gives me the same type of feeling and well, I haven’t. So exercise it is.
It may feel like you’re in a cage but the lock has always been open. It’s up to you to take the steps toward embodied liberation.
And if creating the conditions for that kind of embodied liberation is something you’re trying to figure out, Moonblood is officially open for registration again. It's a 9 week program dedicated to bolstering your hormone health through bucking the rules and simplifying everything you've been taught about how to live well.
It's also the sex ed you needed but never got and you'll be learning cycle charting so you can see the direct impact your lifestyle has on your health and make the changes that are specific to your circumstances and capacity.
You'll learn the anatomy that centers your actual living flesh (most anatomy is taught based on the anatomy of cadavers and uses terms named for the old white men who “discovered” those parts…) and how your arousal actually works so can finally get off the way you deserve.
Moonblood is feminine form healing and wisdom at its finest, and it'll totally shift how you relate to your body, your nourishment, your womb, and your life. We start April 10th and will meet every Wednesday from 6-7:30pm MDT through June 19th (with two breaks for rest/integration). You can save $150 with early bird pricing through March 27th) and a 4 month payment plan is available.
So, you little rebel you, what rules are you gonna break today? How will you take a step toward embodied liberation?
May you find the strength and courage to live your life, your way.
Ohhh I love this connection 🤯 Makes me want to go back and see what I was into after my ACOTAR binge!